Add Lib Me This
by anonymouseomoninja
Summary: These are a few strange little drabbles i generated in an Add Lib. Warning; some sexual and alcohol references.
1. 1000 War Horses

**1000 War Horses**

France paced huskily back and forth. Rosy dread filled his heart. England should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. _Oh, my fragrant love,_ France thought. _Where could you be?_

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. England had been taken hostage by Artistic Lips, a supervillain who had the city in a state of seductive terror. France fainted dead away, like a phoenix born from ashes..

When he came to, there was a bump on his hand and the rosy dread had returned. "England, my gentlemanly honey bunny," he cried out politely. "What is Artistic Lips doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing gracefully as he molested him in the chest.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, France remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 war horses, then whatever you wish for will come true.

France ordered in a supply of war and set to work, folding horses until his hand was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last horse when England walked in the front door.

"England!" France screamed and threw himself into England's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 war horses and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing in a picture. He kissed England randomly on the chest.

"Actually," England said, pulling away happily, "I was rescued by the Sparkling Rose. He's a new superhero in town." England sighed. "And he's really soothing."

The rosy dread came back. "But you're handsome to be back here with me, right?"

England checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Sparkling Rose for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay beautiful, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

France choked back a sob and started folding another horse. Then he went out and got drunk instead.


	2. A Beautiful Day

**A Beautiful Day To Molest**

France stepped randomly out into the artistic sunshine, and admired England's chest. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a gentlemanly sight."

England climbed off the rose and walked happily across the grass to greet his lover. France patted England on the hand and then tried to molest him huskily, but without success.

"That's all right," England said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not soothing," France. "Not as soothing as the time we molested in a picture."

England nodded gracefully. "We were seductive back in those days."

"Our lipss were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," France said. "Everything seems handsome and fragrant when you're young."

"Of course," England said. "But now we're rosy, we can still have fun. If we go about it politely."

"Politely?" France said . "But how?"

"With this," England said and held out a sparkling war. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to molest."

France swallowed the war at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to molest politely. They molested like a phoenix born from ashes.. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.


	3. I'm Dreaming of a Gentlemanly Christmas

**I'm Dreaming Of A Gentlemanly Christmas**

It was Christmas Eve. France sat happily in a picture, sipping soothing eggnog.

He looked at the fragrant wine hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, England had hung it there, just before they looked at each other huskily and then fell into each other's arms and molested each other's chest.

If only I hadn't been so rosy, France thought, pouring a seductive amount of rum into his eggnog. Then England might not have got so artistic and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a beautiful tear and held his lips in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a sparkling voice lifted gracefully up in song.

_I'm dreaming of a gentlemanly Christmas___

_Just like a phoenix born from ashes._

France ran to the door. It was England, looking handsome all over with snow.

"I missed you politely," England said. "And I wanted to molest your chest again."

France hugged England and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," England said.

"I think so too," France said and they molested each other's chest until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted horse hand and lived randomly until France got drunk again.


End file.
